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Friday, 8 November 2013

I'm A Free Woman!...

Dear friends,

I wanted to write to you today about being free... Being free is something we take for granted nowadays and at the same time is something so subjective... Do you consider yourself free? And when can someone call themselves free? Can I say I am a free person as I live and breathe and I am able to roam freely on the streets of Krakow - or any other streets, for a fact? Is my freedom braking other peoples freedom? Am I - by simply standing in my favourite place, in my favourite chair, in my favourite coffee place, braking someone elses freedom? Maybe it is not only my favourite spot. Maybe it is someone else as well. Maybe it is even that person who just entered the coffee shop and it is looking at me before she/he shifts and chooses another spot... I choose to be a free person at least inside my heart and thought as I know that I would not hurt anyone there...
There used to be a time when I would say that "I'm a free woman! I can come and go as I please!" but now - that I found true love and I have found the love of my life - I tend to think more and more about the boundaries of female-male relationships. I know for sure, for 101%, that I want to spend my entire life with my fiance and that I care for no other. Does that make me less a "Free woman"? Of course I cannot raise the question of  "coming and going as I please" as we both are not children anymore and we understand and value our relationship.
When you do the step and you say that you will be with each other and get engaged it is like a promise you do to each other: you are no longer 2 separate human beings, but you are a couple! You need to realize that and begin to act accordingly or more trouble is on the way. You are not 2 but 1 now so everything you do/say/think needs to be discussed/planned/agreed upon together. I may make it sound like both of you have no longer a say on your own life, but what I need you to understand is that if it is true love, your hearts will beat as one and even though you will have arguments/fights you will get out of it by both of you lowering your defenses and working on an agreement together... working on a compromise ;) You win some, you lose some but in the end it is beneficial for the both of you and for your relationship and this is how you grow ;)
You will start - without noticing it, trust me! - to talk no longer of yourself (me, me, me - I, I, I!) but rather of both of you, as a couple (we will go, we will do, we will speak...). It happened to me ;) a few days ago I was talking to an old friend whom I have not spoken for ages!!! and he pointed out how naturally and how nice I was talking about me and my fiance as a couple. Tell you the truth, I did not see this relationship coming... as you know I was not prepared for it but it all came so naturally and smooth and it all happened so fast that we started to talk about marriage and children somewhere in our 4th month of being together - I "blame" it on our age and on the fact that we are both strong characters and we both knew what we wanted and when we wanted it :) Just in time! ;)
I was prepared to be a "free woman" all my life and make the most of it by traveling and seeing the world and meeting new people and being the best aunt for my sisters children... (yeah, I know you heard that before! but hey! it still is a shock for me when I come and think of it!). I always said I will end up an old maid and that I would only love the one who will love me for what I am. Someone who would not try to change me but rather show me things that were not right and let me figure it out along the way... Yeah... I might have been a bit like Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice ;)))
Anyway... I wanted to end this letter to you, my dear friends, by saying that even though you are in a relationship, even though you are engaged, even though you are married, you are still yourself and you are still a free woman to think and feel and say what your heart desires. But always, ALWAYS!!! make sure you do not hurt anyone in the process! Especially the one you love!

Yours truly,
A Free Spirited LadyBug