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Sunday, 23 October 2016

Thoughts On Motherhood

Dearest hearts,

When  they release one from the hospital after a birth, doctors and nurses and midwifes say the same thing: after 6 weeks it's going to be all normal again. Wrong! Don't listen to them: nothing will ever be the same again and for sure this "normal" will not be the regular normal that you used to have. You have created a life and brought it into this world. Along your body has been through immense pressure and you have been modified on the inside and out. Even your brain does not work in the same way, so normality is a word that they use in order for you to feel more comfortable and confident in the future. We are pass that mark - yesterday we celebrated our 2 months and 2 days :) my little LadyBug Baby Girl was born on a Saturday late afternoon and she turned our life topsy turvy and at the same time she is our greatest joy and accomplishment. It's hard to define what one feels once you hold your bundle of joy for the first time or when she smiles at you, from ear to ear... but it's not all roses and rainbows and unicorns and as much as you would prepare and no matter how many books you will read something will catch you unawares.  You heard me talking before about the things no one tells you about natural birth, well there are plenty things that none tell you about Motherhood and raising a baby.
Maybe it's better not knowing anything than reading and hearing 1000 opinions and trying to figure out what is best for your little one. Maybe it's a bit better if it's not your first child but at the same time no child is the same and they will think and act differently. It may be your first child was a pain and did not want to breastfeed and needed you to be with them 24/7 and the 2nd one to be a perfect angel - eating regularly, being quiet and nice and sleeping well... I have seen many babies and not one is the same with the other. Not even twins! Some people say that being a mother comes in gradually and by instinct you will know what to do and what to expect... well not really, you may know that a child cries of because of 3 things: he is either wet/has pooped, either hungry or wants to sleep. That's nonsense! Of course he will cry for the reasons listed above but also because of thousands of other reasons - be it external: maybe she wants the lifts down low or internal: she just is discovering her hands and she put a finger in the eye... sometimes I wish I could make a double of myself so I could be with her 24/7 but that is not possible... we can live without water or food but one can't make it without sleep! So when you can, if you can, get sleep! That is one of the things I miss the most!
Some people say the toughest and most painful part of Motherhood is giving birth. I'm not saying no, the physical pain is the worst ever. It is said that it equal at least 20 bones in your body being broken at the same time. I had my right hand broken twice si I thought I would handle it like a piece of cake. Nope. Nobody and nothing can prepare you for natural birth. But hey! Nobody thinks or speaks of the inner torment and spiritual pain when ones child is sick or in pain and you simply cannot tell how you could make things better... it's not physical but it's like a knife twisting and turning... and you stand there helpless... don't listen to others and the books, listen to your child and your inner self, stay in tune with the little one and you will find middle ground. I have realised that now I don't live for myself and my life has turned into a life for the little one. Sometimes it is hard and depression might come but think of all the lovely things you will do together. Think of all the memories that you will collect! It will be magical, hang in there!
I can hardly wait to teach her all about being a nerd and loving Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and all that connects to Jane Austen and the amazing Bronte sisters. She already is very fond of jazz and loves listening to good old Frank Sinatra. But it may be she won't turn out to be a nerd but be very much into something else... be prepared to be surprised by your little one! But love them nonetheless for what they are and what they wish to be. Love them unconditionally! And with all your heart and soul. Release yourself from what others think and teach your small one to release herself from all that as well
 Be free and love them - love them like you love yourself as they are a piece of you!

Yours sincerly,
The Twisted Red LadyBug That Loves Her LadyBug Baby Girl