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Saturday, 31 December 2016

Thoughts On Motherhood: What I've learned this year

Dearest hearts,

I know I have not been a mum for a very long time, considering that my little LadyBug Baby Girl has turned 4 months old just a couple of days ago; but I still firmly believe that I am entitled to say what I think out loud. You may or may not agree with me, but I will just put it out there so other mums / future mums will know about this. Maybe they will find it helpful and maybe some will find it reassuring that one has "been there, done that" and that they are not the only ones who toss and turn at night over thinking baby issues... so, here are some thoughts about Motherhood - pre and post birth: 
1. Pregnancy can be split in 3 different types of period: 1) the first 1-3 months when you have no clue what is happening with you, you don't feel any changes yet you need to slow down your pace and be responsible, it's also the time when you should not travel as it may be harmful for the development of the baby. 2) months 4-6 are the best ones! You have energy, you are not so big - if it's first pregnancy u you might not even show! You are also allowed to travel and it's a good time to enroll on a gym for pregnant women.  You will glow and look the best during the pregnancy! 3) months 7-9 you will feel tired and energy will drop down fast ... the last month for me was a constant "are we there yet?!" moment... 

2. The books and movies and what people say should have importance only if you wish it. Every pregnancy is different so trust your instincts and your gynecologist. If you feel the need for a second opinion ask another gynecologist not your friend from work. The qualifications are different!
3. Being at peace with yourself is more important than being at peace with others. If you do not accept and love yourself how do you presume others will? And how can you not love yourself when you will become a mother? You will go through the finest act of creation. Sure it will hurt like hell... sure you won't get much sleep... but you will have a little person who will love you unconditionally!

4. Being fit before giving birth gives you an easier labour. I have been for several months before birth to a gym center especially created for ladies that are pregnant or that have small ones over 6 weeks - the first 6 weeks after birth (8 for c section cases) you should not exercise. It is the recovery period. No discussion! These kind of gyms focus on exercises that strengthen the muscles you will use during birth and trust me, you will be thankful you did it! I know ladies that exercised even a day before they entered labour! Talk about dedication!
The 2 great Loves of my life ❤
5. The pain during natural birth is real! You feel that someone is tearing you apart from the inside... and I know that they measured it and it is as if you would have 20 bones broken at the same time... well I had my bones broken more than once but this does not compare to it! The pain is real and I did not forget it after birth, as loads of mums say. Would I do it again? The first months it was a definite NO! But now... after 4 months almost... I would maybe give it another go... in about 3-4 years or so ;)

6. The first months (even the first year/s) of a child's life are quite solitary for both the mum and baby. I ain't the only one saying that! Let's face it... your friends and family have their own life and job and dreams and aspirations and plans, that may not longer match your own. You will probably stay on maternity leave for a while (Poland: half a year payed 100% your salary or full year for 80% ; Romania: you can take 2 years off and as far as I know there is a fixed amount you are payed). Your friends will continue to have a job. You will lose touch. You will need to focus on the needs of the little one rather than your own. You will feel alone and sometimes when you will think it through you will realise it's quite odd talking to yourself - the small one will not talk back for a while...
7. You will stop buying things for yourself and start focusing on the little one. You will probably buy in advance clothing and books and toys just because you saw something cute/nice/cuddly that he/she might like. Mmmmm... actually I think we buy - in a way - the things we would have liked to have. The small one does not have an opinion yet... or maybe they do but verbalising it until they reach a certain aga is hard. Of course my small LadyBug Baby Girl was dressed in a LadyBug suit at her first photoshoot. Of course she has LadyBug toys and books. Mummy's girl ;)

8. Nothing is too much when it comes to your babies health.  You would spend any time and money to make sure all is fine. Having 3 types of insurances when you go abroad might be considered a bit over the top, but screw that! Do what is best for your little one and/or for your mental sanity. You will be stressed if something should happen and if it does you will be thankful you had things covered. You know... it's better to be safe than sorry!
DO! Take daily walks with your little bundle of joy 
9. You might have considered travelling fun and you might have had a relaxed attitude about it, but once you need to fly with a small one is guarantee you that you won't be able to sleep in the plane anymore ;) Our little LadyBug Baby Girl had her first flight just one day before she turned 4 months old. It was supposed to be a 2 flight with a 4 hour break in between so we could relax and take things slow... Guess what?! First plane got cancelled and we got 3 flights instead, each of them delayed and for each of them we had just few minutes to catch (before being announced that there is a delay...). Not fun at all :(

10. Babies are awesome! If you never smelled a baby you should do it asap! The are the softest, cutest and most cuddliest human beings! On the downside they drool and fart and the poo smells... God! You just can't compare it :/ but they are wonderful! Their brains are indeed like sponges and they learn so fast things that I am constantly amazed of my little LadyBug Baby Girl. I could stand and look at her sleeping serenely for hours and hours... she makes me smile when I am sad and no matter how much of a pain she is when she cries out loud for the whole day... I still love her, more and more everyday! It's an amazing feeling!
Nobody teaches you how to be a mum and everyone will come with tips and tricks and ideas of how you should raise your child. You can listen to them and take notes and try things out but in the end... your instincts will teach you more ;) feel the Force, just let it in! :) if you are a mummy as well, especially a fresh one, I would love to hear from you your thoughts and feelings  about being a mother... do you feel the same? :) 

Yours very much sincerly,
The Twisted Red LadyBug That Loves Her LadyBug Baby Girl