Motherhood, at first sight, seems like a very easy and straightforward fun and exciting thing to do. Guess what? Nobody will tell you it's "dirty secrets" as if you knew them you might probably think twice before taking the step. In life everything comes with both pros and cons, so does being a mother. It's not all roses and rainbows and unicorns... it's impossible to imagine that one can love a small human being with such Force and passion yet in the next split second to feel the need to run away from it all as fast as you can... and then they smile and the world of worries just melts again into love... and then the cycle starts again ;)) Well... I was thinking about Motherhood and how many things have changed throughout my little life...
I turned 30 years old recently and I've been looking at my little LadyBug Baby Girl and how I was raised by my mum but also how my mum was raised by my granny vs. how you granny was raised by my grand granny (which, BTW, I have managed to met and dearly remember the holidays spent at the countryside). Everything changes and the way we see how a child is being raised is different in a way or another, so without any further ado... let me point out some observations:
|Joy comes from the little things in life, like watching your very own LadyBug Baby Girl grow :)|
- The number of children per family decreased. Both my grandparents had big families with a lot of brothers and sisters - the kind where you need both hands and a bit extra to count them... We - my generation of friends, in general - were 2 sisters. My husband's case is a bit different as he comes from Poland, Catholic country, where anticonceptional methods are not that much "approved" by the church and where people usually stick to the traditional way of living the life in Big, wholesome, friendly families. He has 4 brothers and 2 sisters. Usually due to lack of time, commitment, financial reasons... people nowdays usually stop at having 2 children max. It's, I think, a way of reassuring oneself the continuity of the species... from 2 people came 2 more!
- The age of the person giving birth has increased. The people nowdays want to make sure they take the best chances, they make the best decisions before they take the big step. Having a child is considered a lot of responsibility and people prefer to have fun, travel, live their life, build a career, make sure they have some money in the bank... and so on... before they have a child. There is always this preconception running around that once you have kids you'll be a full time grown up that should not have fun/travel/smile/go out, but focus 110% on your child. Smother him!
- The Mothers have their own jobs now, not only Fathers work for the living! A couple of decades ago, not very long, though! the women were supposed to be the ones staying at home - cooking, cleaning, shopping and taking care of the children. Read the old novels and find me one women working outside of the house! Well... now women are allowed to vote and work in positions that were before labeled as "men only". True, they do have maternity leave but only for a short period of time! And guess what? After that they need to be mum + work at the same time! It doesn't get any easier...
- Mothers are expected now to spend more and more time with the children. Before, the babies would stay with the grandmothers or in special schools from a very young age. They would also probably have a nanny... Guess what? I had for a while a nanny as well! But that never replaces the sweet time spend with Granny and Mum :) nothing replaces that! And nowdays you will probably be hanged upon the cross if you dare say you wish to leave your small one with a nanny... just a few days ago I was reading in a Facebook mums group a post about a lady with a baby under 1 year that asked for a nanny recommendation... almost everyone jumped on her calling her a bad mum because she needed some time off and she wanted to leave her baby... Some people should learn the fine art of behaving in public, along with patience and understanding!
- Views on breastfeeding vs. The bottle ;) oh! This topic sparks like wildfire! Just ask any mum... some would rip heads off! Some would say there us no mother that cannot breastfeed their child: either you will or you won't! Well... I won't express my options here, I want to avoid any quarrel, but just FYI that a couple of decades ago the bottle was the only ladylike option, breastfeeding was not considered decent, it was something that only lower classes would do; and for sure it would not be done in public! The bottle was the way to go. Nowdays it's the other way around. Researchers have proved how beneficial the maternal milk is, especially in the first 6 months! It provides anticorps that the baby cannot get in any other way!
- Giving birth naturally was the way to go. Just you and the midwife (and the doctor, if you came from a high ranking family). There were no drugs, no epidural, no clue section. All was natural and painful and sometimes dangerous... some births might jeopardise both child and mother... thankfully nowdays you can tell in time and different decisions can be made to save lifes. It is so true nowdays it's highly recommended to give birth naturally if possible and there are hospitals specialised in that, as there are others specialised in c section. Either way it is a risk operation so... I would rather be in pain during birth then after, when you are in rehab. Then again my hips are wide so I am lucky :)
Yours very much sincerly,
- Having a son was a must, to keep the inheritance in the family! Just take for example the lovely/amazing/funny/dramatic novel "Pride and Prejudice". Poor Mr. Bennett tried to have a son but he ended up with 5 daughters instead... there was no other way to do it... keep on trying until you make it! Nowdays at least laws are a bit more better and girls are considered as equal successors. All hail #womenrights :)
The Twisted Red LadyBug That Loves To Discover Motherhood