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Saturday, 25 January 2014

Odd Bits And Pieces

Dear friends,

Our life, even if we like it or not, even if we agree or we do not, is made out of odd bits and pieces put together by love and friendship and other honorable feelings that we have until those bits become a whole. When we come into the world we are a whole and then as time passes and we begin our learning curve we begin to break and lose bits and pieces of ourself. We pick them up and put them back with the help of other people but we never are the same. Once you are broken you will never be perfectly whole again - you will still see the cracks or if you will not see them you will still know they are there... Do those cracks make us wiser or are they just a simple reminder for us so we would take care not to get hurt again? And can you actually stop being hurt? I believe not... I mean unless you make your heart be out of stone and that is a choice that I - for one - am not willing to take! I prefer to feel all the range of the emotions and still have my heart clear and pure than feel nothing and have a black and soulless heart...
As the Bible says: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." (Ezekiel 36:26) I don't pretend to know much of the matters of the heart but I know my heart and I know how I feel. I know my heart was broken by people I love and also by people I just met. I am vulnerable to comments and bad words/feedback and I try to work on this as this has been my weakness since I was small... My weakness and my strength at the same time, as I am pretty good at knowing people and what they can do - sometimes I fail, it is true, I am not perfect but I am doing my best with the given circumstances ;)
What helped me in time to understand and heal myself from a broken heart was the fact that I could not change people. It is as simple as that... You have the power in yourself to change yourself but you will never be able to change someone else! Unless they will want to change nothing will happen to them. To you, yes, you may become upset and get your heart broken in the process... which I do not recommend ;) Try not to focus on changing people - that never works out. Try to make yourself a better person and enjoy the small things in life. In that way you will start not to notice the cracks in your heart... you will still feel them, once in a while, when you will meet/talk/see the person who caused it but you will be stronger in time. And I will let you in another secret: Time heals wounds ;) give it some time and it will get better. You might not believe it at first but it will get better in time.
When I was with my adorable husband in Warsaw last Monday, we bumped into some odd bits and pieces as well :) For example he spotted this adorable LadyBug (in the picture above) - they were all around Warsaw, promotional teasers for a children movie about small little insects... the name escapes me but that is not the point :p the point is the fact that now we see LadyBugs everywhere ;))) and when he sees a LadyBug he needs to show me it and it is adorable for me, kinda like a recognition... that I am there :) and that is when we both start smiling and we forget about the Hell of the day that we had... the fact that it was bloody cold and we were freezing and we had to face bureaucracy... all that fades away... and we smile :)
Also we had a bit of fun with the pictures above, which were taken next to one of the Embassies next to the Romanian one. The sidewalk was painted for parking spots and it seems there was a problem and they had to take away the pavement and put it back. It looks perfect, like it was brand new, except the lines ;))) Just like our hearts... we put the odd bits and pieces together and we make the heart whole and it looks whole... like it was never broken, but you can still see the cracks...  In time they may heal but you will still feel them!

P.S. Dear hearts, please never break a heart! A heart will mend but it will never be the same again!

Yours truly,
Your LadyBug :*