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Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Unconsciously Looking At The Past

Dearest hearts,

I sometimes wonder upon crazy things that people do and that give them pleasure or peace or serenity, things that we think make sense and give us enlightenment yet... they rather bring us more into the past. I know, that sounds silly yet look at a small thing that some of us do: gazing at the beautiful sky filled with stars, maybe sometimes on a clear summer evening. Did you know that you are actually gazing at the past? You are unconsciously looking at the death of so many celestial bodies... the stars you are gazing upon, most of them, are already dead. I don't know if you knew this or if you processed the information if ever you bumped into it, but the light travels at about 300.000 km/second, which is amazingly fast to process... The stars that we see are so far away that even the light from the closest stars take years and years to get to us, even travelling with that speed, so what we are actually gazing at, are the last moments... the dieing breath of the beautiful bodies that are already dead... 
For me it's amazing how somehow we are stuck, unconsciously, into looking at the past: even in a small act like gazing at the summer sky,  enjoying the beauty of the stars, we are actually looking at the past. I think it is marvellous for God to be able to be timeless and stare into the past-present-future at the same time. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying looking into the past is wrong, looking into the past can help you move forward and settle things down that maybe hurt you; but too much looking into the past and not balancing it with present and future will harm you.
I love period movies, I love the times when women were treated like real ladies and they dressed / walked / talked accordingly and the men were true gentleman, but I am not thinking every moment and second upon that and I don't daydream and sigh and cry about it. I understand the times are changing and true gentleman can still be found, even if you have to look harder and maybe even change the country ;) I try not to get stuck on the past, on what could have been and what I could have done better. These questions can drive you mad and kill you, if you let them in!
Living in the past will destroy the present and future and that's something that will change the entire course of your life. I have seen people stuck on "what could have been" instead of being happy with what they have when they have it. It's a hard thing to do as you have to let go of your troubles and worries and looking into the past allows you to relive some moments that maybe gave you great pleasure. It's especially gard when you lose someone whom you love with all your heart and you feel like a piece of yourself is gone with that person... you will deny things at first and then the anger stage will set it... and you will get stuck in the past. Not thinking about the present and future and how that person would have liked you to be happy and not mourn for the rest of your life.
I like gazing at the sky, watching the summer sky, seeing them up there in all their "former glory" but I never thought about them being dead... I knew that but somehow it always passed my mind... You know what I usually think of when I look up at the sky? How small I am, how much like a grain of sand I am, versus the entire universe created by God. How small I am yet how grateful I am to be alive and how grateful I am for my past (with all its troubles and worries but also loving memories), present (especially grateful for the small LadyBug Baby that we are waiting) and future (that is a bit scary... yet I am sure God will grant us wisdom!). What do YOU think when you are looking up at the sky? What do you think when you see the stars? Do you dwell on the past or do you think about the future?

Yours always sincerly,
The Twisted Red LadyBug that loves the sky full of stars